Nurturing

Customer care


Crazy Eyes

Crazy EyesIn case you aren’t sure, here is a quick how to guide on ways to drive your customers away.

How to Deliver Terrible Customer Service

  1. Don’t listen to the customer
  2. Rush to give information before you have all the facts
  3. Make it hard for the customer to reach you
  4. Talk over your customer when they are explaining what they are experiencing
  5. If you have a support section on your website, make it difficult to decipher
  6. Speak in jargon
  7. Put your customer on hold and make them listen to annoying music
  8. Respond to support requests very slowly, two or three days after being contacted.
  9. Tell you customer you are sorry for their problem without providing a solution
  10. Never admit you “don’t know’ what to do
  11. Never ask for clarification
  12. Never ask for help in solving a difficult problem
  13. Be sure to cause more problems for your customer
  14. Repeat all of the above several times to be sure your customer is completely disappointed

Got a Customer Service Story to Share?

What is your story of great or horrific customer service? Share them with me. I’ll contact you if your story is selected to go into my book.